I’d like to nominate myself as the only recipient of this new award, as I seem to be the only person in any of the four states in which I’ve lived who not only understands what those poop bags they sell in stores are FOR, but also how to USE them. If anybody else would like to join me in the daily struggle to keep our sidewalks clean and prevent the spread of communicable disease, I would welcome the company.
I invite your suggestions for other awards we can at to the list. With practical, achievable prizes like these, we truly CAN make our world a better place.